Life and Death
by Starsong
Summary: The Ducks have been lucky on earth, but the reality of war is driven home with renewed vengeance when one of their own falls.


I suppose this is more a character piece than anything else, but after all, those are my specialties! For all the English majors out there, I would just like to say that sentence fragments can be a valuable literary tool. So there. Nyah. For any Grin fans out there, I'm warning you that this is the first time I've done any work inside his head. Therefore, his part is short. I apologize to anyone who thinks I massacre his character. I'm really not too good at writing battle scenes, either, so I kinda skipped most of that part 

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**Life and Death**

"NO!" 

Lila's head jerked up at the anguished cry. Her heart stopped as she quickly surveyed the battle. Wildwing rushed forward with a roar, his momentum and fury great enough that he bowled Siege over backward. Mallory ran to help him, while Grin caught up with the Wraith. In a flash of light the gangly lizard vanished in a hideous green light from his grasp, laughing maniacally. Chameleon demanded Lila's attention for a heartbeat as he tackled the squatting duck from behind. Fortunately, he hadn't bothered to shift for the attack. Lila ground her teeth and rolled forward on her hands, using the momentum from Chameleon's leap to throw them both into a somersault. She landed on top of him, and his loud groan was soon followed by the sound of a Saurian transporter, and with a grunt Lila dropped to the ground as he disappeared from under her. Lila lurched to her feet, searching for the two teammates still unaccounted for. Before she could locate them amidst the debris of the battleground, Wildwing's cry of pure rage, deep-throated and primal, froze her blood and she numbly watched Siege follow his cohorts. 

"Lila!" Tanya's desperate cry snapped her out of her shock, and she sprinted toward her cousin. Tanya knelt on the ground, holding Nosedive as his blood spilled onto the ground. Lila's stomach dropped below her feet as she saw the gaping wound just below Dive's chest armor ended. Tanya was desperately trying to stop the bleeding but she was clearly terrified. 

Lila's body was moving forward even before her mind had recovered from the sight. She was dimly aware of Duke and Grin trying to calm the injured ducks furious older brother as she ordered Tanya to lay Nosedive down. Tanya did as she asked, and with a clipped order Lila sent Mallory in search of the weapon that had inflicted such damage on her teammate. Lila pulled her portable medicom out of her pouch, slipping on the visor-like glasses and scanning glove. 'That's not a laser wound,' Lila thought as she plugged in the cables that connected the scanner, display visor, palm-top analysis unit. 'It looks like some type of jagged object, probably metal--This is very, very, bad.' She activated the scanner and passed her hand over Nosedive's body. The internal damage was extensive, and Lila's heart sank with every new display that flashed across her visor. 

"Lila?" No longer in a blind rage but still on the edge of hysteria, Wildwing stood above her and looked down at his brother. His eyes were desperate as he silently begged her help. 

"I have to get him stable enough to get back to the Pond," Lila wrenched her eyes from his face and began trying to staunch the wound. "Grin, get me something flat to carry him with." Mallory returned with a piece of metal that had obviously been ripped off the equipment scattered around the steel factory. It was stained with blood. Duke stood silently with his hands on Tanya's shoulders. The blond tech cried and wrung hands that were still wet with her teammate's blood. Lila had the bleeding under control by the time that Grin returned with what had once been a piece of the assembly line. Under Lila's supervision, he and Wildwing carefully shifted Nosedive's body to the flat piece of metal, and carried him to the Migrator. 

"Keep the ride as gentle as you can," Lila called up to Duke as she fitted an oxygen mask over Dive's beak. She looked up at Wildwing. "Stay beside him, Wing. Talk to him, he may be able to hear you." Wildwing's eyes were near vacant but he did as she asked, gripping Dive's hand as if he would never let go. 

*** 

Wildwing accosted her the moment she left Nosedive's bed. The rest of the team gathered around as Lila maneuvered him into a seat and looked him straight in the eye. She hated this part. The still very young doctor took a deep breath and squeezed Wildwing's hand tightly between her own, trying to keep her voice steady as she told them all what she knew they didn't want to hear. 

"I wish I could say I had good news, Wildwing." Wildwing's fingers tightened on her hand and for a moment he looked like a scared child as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "The internal damage is bad, but not extensive. However, there's still a piece of that metal thing inside of him. I have to operate to get it out. It's a delicate procedure, but it's one I've had a lot of practice with." Shadows crossed her already dark eyes at the words, but she banished them and continued. "If he lives-" Lila stopped and swallowed, steadying her voice again. "If he lives through the procedure," she forced out, eyes closed, "there's a good chance he'll recover." She opened her eyes and leaned toward Wildwing, plunging into his deep azure gaze. "But he lost a lot of blood, Wing. I don't dare do the procedure at all without a transfusion, and even then--I can't guarantee-- She stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Wing, I wish I could do better." 

Wildwing sat back and closed his eyes. He took a shuddering breath before opening them again. "Please," he said, "Save my brother, Lila." Lila leaned forward and pressed her cheek against his. 

"I'll try, Wing." She whispered hoarsely. She stood up and cleared her throat, turning to face the rest of the team. "Tanya, I need you to call Marilyn for me. Explain the situation and tell her I really could use her help. Mallory," Lila turned to the redhead, who was nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot. "You and Grin have the same blood type as Dive. I know how much you hate needles, but--" 

"I'll do it," she said shortly. Grin nodded as well. 

"Good," Lila sighed. "I'm going to need some help--" 

"Count me in," Wildwing's voice was harsh. Lila suppressed a grimace as she turned to him. 

"No, Wildwing." 

"Lila, he's my *brother*--" 

"Exactly," Lila said shortly. "There's a reason we don't allow family members in the operating room, Wildwing. If something goes wrong, can you honestly tell me you'll be able to keep control?" 

"Yes," Wildwing spat defiantly. Lila stepped up to him and looked him in the eye. 

"Are you willing to bet Dive's life on that?" she asked him quietly. Wildwing looked back at her for a moment, and then seemed to wilt, almost falling back into his chair. 

"I'll help," Duke stepped forward. "After all," he said with a crooked smile, "In the Brotherhood, first aide is kind of a need-to-know thing." Lila nodded but couldn't bring herself to smile back. 

Tanya returned as they were setting the transfusion up for Mallory, with a report that Marilyn's shift at the hospital was over for the day, and that she would be there as soon as possible. Lila was more relieved by the news than she cared to admit. She hadn't been lying when she said she'd done this procedure many times before, but operating alone was not a situation she felt prepared for. Marilyn was still unfamiliar with many of the differences between duck and human medicine, but she was the best option Lila had available. And, though the other ducks didn't know it, Lila had been doing her best to acquaint Mari with Puckworld medical tools and procedures. If something should happen to her, she wanted her team to be taken care of. It was a far cry from the years of medical training Lila had endured since entering her accelerated high school, but it was better than Tanya with a scalpel. 

Anything was better than Tanya with a scalpel. 

Mallory looked decidedly green as she lay down on the bed next to Nosedive. She watched with wide eyes as Lila hooked the two of them together and the volatile girl's lifeblood began flowing into the boy. Lila squeezed her hand and warned her not to move too much. 

Marilyn arrived about halfway through the process, still wearing her hospital uniform. Lila explained what had happened in more detail, glancing surreptitiously at the woman's swollen belly. It wouldn't impede her from assisting, Lila knew, but her limited knowledge of human reproduction made her wonder how unpredictable the unborn child could be. She suppressed a shudder at the thought of *live* birth and turned back to the beds where Mallory and Nosedive lay. 

"That's enough," she said, disconnecting the two of them. "Don't move, Mallory, you're going to feel really weak for a while. I'll have Wildwing move you to your room in a moment. You should stay in bed for at least a couple of hours. Take Tanya with you, in fact, I don't want any more people near here than necessary. What I want to do," she turned to Marilyn, "is do the operation, and then give him some of Grin's blood. Mallory's, I'm hoping, will have replaced some of what he lost earlier, and help him survive the surgery. I'm so thankful we have two of them... She looked back at her teammate and sighed. "Let's get him prepped." 

*** 

It was, perhaps, the most grueling night anyone in the team had ever spent. Mallory and Tanya sat silently in Mal's bunk, listening to the clock tick and waiting. Wildwing kept his vigil outside the operating room, where Grin also sat meditating. Duke hovered, outwardly calm as he assisted the two professionals while inside wondering with more fear than he'd felt in a long time if Dive were really going to be ok. Marilyn watched Lila as they worked, afraid for her young friend. Lila had done practically by herself what Mari had numerous nurses to do for her, and she could tell that the emotional strain was also taking its toll on her. Lila was tired and frightened, but she was a professional--if a young one--and she worked diligently. 

Wildwing looked up as Marilyn emerged from the operating room, but she just flashed a sympathetic smile before telling Grin they were ready for him. 

"It won't be long now," she murmured as she turned back. 

That last half-hour or so was torture. 

Finally, Lila came to get him. She was tired and still bloody, but he followed her in, afraid of what Dive would be like. 

"He's still out," Lila told him. "But I knew you'd want to see him. I don't want to say anything yet...Let me get cleaned up first. If his vital signs do anything crazy..." She didn't finish, just headed for the prep room to rid herself of the blood stained surgery gown. Her feet felt like lead and her hands shook as she ran them under the sink. She was so tired... 

Wildwing sat by Nosedive's bed and studied his brother's face. In sleep, it was uncharacteristically solemn. He glanced up as Duke returned. He and Marilyn had gotten cleaned up while Wildwing was talking to Lila. Duke put a hand on Wing's shoulder, then turned away and left to take the human doctor home. 

Lila emerged, still weary but now clean at least, back in her dark blue Healer's coat. She went over and checked the Medicom's readings. Wildwing watched her, silently, and he stood when her sigh was tinged with relief. She smiled up at him. 

"Nothing's for sure, yet, but it looks like he made it through the surgery all right. He's got a good chance of recovery." Her smile wavered and she put her hands to her face, sobbing. 

Wildwing was numb with relief and hope. Duke returned, and the look on Wing's face was enough to convince him of the good news. Lila's knees were weak and she felt them buckle. Duke started forward but Wing was faster; he caught her and picked her up carefully, cradling her like a small child. There was a bed set up near the sick beds where Lila slept when one of the sick ducks needed looking after 24-7. Wildwing carried her over to it. 

"I'll take care of her," he said softly as he lay her down. "Go tell the others." Duke nodded and hurried off. 

Lila was dimly aware of them through her tears, but the strain and exhaustion had finally gotten to her, and she couldn't stop crying. She tried to get up, hazily thinking she needed to check on Dive, but Wildwing stopped her. "Rest," he told her. "I'll watch him." Lila was too tired to argue or struggle as he helped her out of her guild coat and pushed her back down on the bed, and she was asleep almost instantly. 

Wildwing went back to Nosedive's side and pushed a lock of hair out of his brother's face. He sighed as he sank down into the chair next to the bed. After everything he'd been through in his life, nothing compared with the gut-wrenching fear he felt when his brother was in danger. It was a fear made worse when he knew there was nothing he could do to help. Putting his brother's safety in another's hands, even the hands of people he trusted as much as Lila and the rest of his teammates, was the hardest thing he had to do. 'Was I wrong to bring you here?' he wondered, taking his brother's hand. 'Would it have been better to leave you behind, and hope that Canard's plan succeeded? Am I selfish to want you here where I can know whether you're hurt or alive or whatever? What am I going to tell Mom and Dad if anything ever happens to you?' Wildwing closed his eyes against the questions, and tried not to imagine how his parents would react if he returned to Puckworld without Nosedive. 

When he opened them again, he looked over to the bed where the Lila lay. He got up and went over to her for a moment. He removed her wristguards, setting them on a table next to her coat, and carefully unlaced her boots and pulled them off. He covered her with a blanket and looked down at her for a moment. In sleep she lost the rigid control she kept over her emotions. She looked lost and frightened, and very young. Wildwing went back to his brother lay, keeping watch over the two still forms. 

*** 

Duke's announcement was greeted with sighs and smiles of relief from the two girls. They sat quiet a moment longer after the door shut behind him. 

"I never thought I could be so scared for that little twerp," Mallory sighed, staring at her ceiling from where she lay on the bed. 

"He does kinda grow on you, doesn't he," Tanya joked half-heartedly. "I almost had a heart attack when I saw all that blood..." She looked down at her hands, closing her fists with a pained expression, then wiping them on her jumpsuit as if she could steel feel Nosedive's blood on them. 

"I've seen a lot of my friends go down in the war," Mallory said quietly. "Some of them just disappeared on scouting missions, some of them went straight to the infirmary and never came out. It hurt, to lose them, but I was so focused on the fighting and doing my part that I didn't have to deal with it. Now, with all these hit and run strikes and gorilla tactics, there's just too much free time. Too many ghosts...We all knew it could happen when we joined the military, but... She trailed off. "And he never bargained for this...he's just a civilian. 

"People die every day, my father used to tell me," Tanya sighed. "You have to do what you can to save the ones that can be saved, and let the rest go to a better place." She smiled bitterly. "He wasn't talking about war, he was talking about disease and hunger. He used to give me that lecture every time he donated a research grant or had a charity fund-raiser. Whenever I was in the lab at the base, I used to hear those words over and over in my head. I tried to do my part to make sure the Resistance was well armed and well equipped, but people kept dying. I used to ask myself, what good was I doing? Even here, no matter what I do, how many inventions I come up with, this still happened. And all it took was a stupid piece of twisted metal." 

Silence reigned again. Tanya made no move to leave, and Mallory didn't ask her to. In spite of their differences, neither one wanted to be alone. 

*** 

Duke liked to be alone. Not all the time, of course, but there were times that demanded quiet and peace. For him, that meant solitude. 

This was one of those times. He stood on the roof of the Pond and looked out at the city, seeing before him the lights of Puckworld at a time when he had been the king of theives. 

It had been easier, back then, not to care. Because if he cared to much, he'd have to admit that what he was doing was wrong. 

Then Dragaunus came, and he finally had to admit to himself that he did care. He couldn't sit by and let that spiny, overambitious, egotistical freak set himself up on Duke's turf. At first, he persuaded himself that with Dragaunus in town, there'd be no work for thieves. Dragaunus was not the type of ruler to throw a thief in prison where he could escape. No, it was much more economical to just roast him on the spot. Having Dragaunus around was bad for business. 

Even then, his heart had known better, and it hadn't been long before Duke's heart forced him to face it. 

And he had faced it. He'd turned his life around. So he had integrity. Big deal. What he didn't have was friends. Allies, sometimes. Never friends. 

That was different now. It made everything so much more complicated. He'd never felt anything like the fear he felt tonight. He considered and quickly dismissed the possibility that he was just fond of Dive. He knew better. Lila was dear to him, too, had been for a while. He'd all but adopted her as a surrogate niece, even before they came to Earth. 

But that wasn't just it, either. He'd have been just as upset if something had happened to Wing, or Grin, or Tanya, or Mallory. Because he trusted these people. They were his friends and the closest he had to family, for the moment. 

Duke was used to living on the edge. He was used to being around people that lived on the edge. He was used to people falling off the edge. 

He wasn't used to caring. 

He extended his saber and held it out in front of him, studying the length of the gold blade. 'I care now. No one hurts the people I care about and gets away with it. No one scares Duke L'Orange this badly and doesn't pay.' 

*** 

Grin was feeling something very unusual as he lay on the bed in his quarters. 

Restlessness. 

For one who walked the path of the enlightened, change as a rule was not a problem. One who is at peace with oneself is at peace no matter where one may be. One who is with friends is blessed. 

And when one of those friends is hurt? What then? 

He wanted to get up and pace, but he would never show such a lack of discipline, even when alone. Lila had told him to take it easy for a while anyway. Which was too bad. He could have really used a workout to clear his head. 

Instead, he reached for his favorite meditation crystal. Maybe if he could find his center again, he would be able to understand why one so young had to tread a path so close to death and darkness. 

*** 

Wildwing's eyes were drifting shut when a small noise made him look up. It wasn't Nosedive, he still lay pale and still, and the medicom readouts hadn't changed. 

It was Lila. She'd been sleeping restlessly for a while now, and Wildwing debated waking her. He knew she was tired, but whatever she was dreaming about didn't look to be pleasant. He got up and went to her side, still trying to make up his mind. She let out a strangled cry and curled up, her fear obvious even in her sleep. Wildwing reached out and shook her. 

"Lila," he said gently. "Lila, come on, wake up." Her eyes snapped open and she pushed herself up violently. Wildwing caught her by the shoulders. "Hush, hush, it's ok," he said soothingly as confusion masked her features. She looked up at him, then seemed to remember where she was. She shuddered. "Are you alright?" Wildwing asked in concern. 

"Yeah," she sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine." She reached a hand to touch her ankle, then swung her legs over the edge of the bed to sit up completely. "How long was I asleep?" 

"Not that long," he told her. "I wouldn't have waked you, but" 

"I'm glad you did," Lila smiled, running her fingers through her long bangs. "How's Dive?" 

"No change," Wildwing said, his voice heavy with worry as he looked back to his brother. 

"That's to be expected," Lila soothed, "He lost a lot of blood. As long as is vitals don't go down, he's doing well. It may take his body a while to get strong enough to handle being awake." 

"Tell me honestly, Lila-" 

"I always do." 

"Do you think he'll be all right?" 

Lila frowned. "I don't want to answer that so soon. He's got a good chance but-" 

"You said that already. I want to know what you think." 

Lila met his gaze. "He's young, strong, and in excellent physical conditions. Those are good indicators for a full and comparatively fast recovery. I think that he will be fine. But it's entirely possible that the stress and the blood loss were too much, and he won't wake up." 

"You don't think that will happen, though," he pressed. 

"I don't think it will. But I could be wrong, Wildwing. I don't want you to put too much faith in such a preliminary analysis." 

"I understand." He paused. "Lila, I want to thank you. He would have died without you." 

"Don't thank me," Lila said shortly, sliding of the bed and pushing past him. "Nosedive's no different from the rest of the young men I've helped. No different from the ones I couldn't." She pressed her palms to the top of an exam table, leaning on it with her rigid back to him. "It's as much luck as it is skill." Her voice held bitterness that would never have shown if she were less tired. She tensed reflexively when she felt Wildwing put his hands on her shoulders, but relaxed a little as he began to knead the tight muscles. Lila sighed and dropped her head. "I'm sorry." 

"It's ok," Wildwing pushed her hair over one shoulder, and Lila reached up to pull her thick braid out of his way. "I know it must have been hard. You're allowed to get upset sometimes, Lila, you are, after all, still mortal." 

"I shouldn't have snapped at you," she insisted. 

"Everyone has to lose their temper sometimes, Lila, even you. And if that's as bad as it gets, you've got the most pathetic temper of anyone I've ever seen." They were quiet for a moment. 

"Was it really that bad?" he finally asked her. 

"Jade," she said in a stark, emotionless monotone, "A sweet little blond with a cheery disposition and excellent aim. 17 years old. Died 7:28 pm, Monday, the third day of the fifth month of internal bleeding. Shardra, 18, accepted on a University scholarship for electronics, two brothers and an older sister. Died Thursday, 4:25 am, the twentieth of the fifth month, on the operating table as a result of severe head trauma. Shane, 16, wanted to be a fighter pilot when he grew up, was very close to his parents, and missed his sister terribly. Died Tuesday, 12:00 noon, the seventeenth day of the fifth month, of wounds inflicted by shrapnel. Chris, 16, died at 3:42 on the first day of the sixth month, in his mother's arms, of wounds suffered on a routine, low risk supply procurement operation." Her voice broke, and Wildwing put his arms around her, offering back some of the comfort she'd so often given him. 

"I knew when I decided to become a doctor, I would see pain, and I would see suffering, and I would see death," she said shakily. "I knew that I'd never be able to forget any of it. I knew I'd remember every detail. I chose this calling. I chose this life. I'm not sorry. I won't BE sorry." There was directionless anger in her voice now, and she pushed away from Wildwing, going to the medicom to check on Nosedive. 

No change. Lila went back to her bed, after making Wildwing promise to wake her in an hour or so, sooner if he needed to rest. He looked back down at his brother, questions returning to his mind. 

Tanya curled on the couch in Mallory's room, and the two slipped into a restless sleep. On the roof, Duke still stood, searching the night for answers. Grin reached for his center, still unable to find the reasons he sought. 

**** 

Note: This is the end. The total, and complete end. Plot wasn't, as I stated at the top, the motivation behind this story, and you can basically assume that Nosedive recovers and is fine. The point of this was to get the team thinking. If you can even call that a point. 


End file.
